I Wished to Give My Daughter a Sibling. I Bought Covid As an alternative.

A detailed pal was supposed to start out her I.V.F. injections on the similar time, however she determined to postpone on the final minute as a result of Covid circumstances had been so excessive in our space. By that time, we had been so pushed in our pursuit of being pregnant that I used to be startled to listen to her say that, because the thought had by no means even crossed my thoughts.

I’ve no manner of figuring out for certain if I used to be uncovered to the virus someday throughout this final fertility therapy. The surgical middle is on a big medical campus that additionally hosts a Covid-19 testing drive-through within the storage the place we parked. We additionally waited, masks on, for nearly an hour exterior the constructing, which we thought was a safer alternative than the fertility clinic ready room, however that truly put us in proximity to lots of sick folks ready for rides dwelling.

I additionally needed to take away my masks simply earlier than the precise egg retrieval, as a result of I used to be underneath anesthesia and the docs wanted fast entry to my mouth in case I wanted a respiratory tube.

5 days after the egg retrieval, we came upon we had been Covid-positive. I known as the clinic straight away to warn them; the fertility physician informed me just a few days later that none of her staffers had gotten sick. And in addition that not one of the eggs they retrieved from me had developed correctly. We had no embryos to make use of.

In fact, as anybody who has executed fertility therapies is aware of, all the hazards and dangers we undertook would have been “price it” if it had labored. As a result of it didn’t work for us, I felt defeated and silly.

In sum, we wished to offer Goldie a sibling, however doing so could have been what threatened her mom’s life. This thought haunts me and can stick with me endlessly, though I’ll by no means know the way precisely the virus entered our dwelling.

Our nanny, who additionally skilled Covid signs and examined optimistic three days earlier than us, may have picked it up on the grocery store. We may have gotten it from her, or whereas strolling round our neighborhood or taking part in within the park. However the act of selecting, time and again, to have interaction in fertility therapies because the pandemic raged on, fills me with doubt and regret.

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